I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
