I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
