Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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