tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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