Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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