Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
