If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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