i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
