If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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