grandma shit on top of the toilet
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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