That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
