you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
