she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
