I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize