He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
