Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
I did not marry a roomba.
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