is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
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Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
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A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
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