A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
