Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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