Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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