My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize