I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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