You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize