just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
