i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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