My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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