I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
