I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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