I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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