I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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