Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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