with your own penis?
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
