Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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