margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Randomize
