you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
No...this little piggys going to the bar
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
