You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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