Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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