I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
if only i could text you this smell
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
