did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
