I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
