so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
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We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
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You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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