new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Randomize
