I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Just puked most of my soul out..
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
