That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
