i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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