your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
