If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
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