Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
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