Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
