ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
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he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
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My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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