1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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