1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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