You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
