shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
