I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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