Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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