i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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