is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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