I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
