don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
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